Lend Me Lexi.

Dear Reader,
Pardon me for the more-than-brief hiatus, but life has been happening. I’m back home now, in the new job position, and loving it. In the past month I’ve met some of my favorite artists and gone to some amazing concerts. Lately I’m considering moving to Main Street, but I’m still in the processes of contemplating that.
Firstly, the new job. My first day was Friday and so far, so good. I sat and listened in on phone conversations with Christ and Sam, one of my cube-neighbors. I also met my next-door cube-neighbor (if you will) Nathan, who is also a newbie and I have a feeling we’re going to be friends. Everyone seems to have a really great sense of humor and apparently my boss is known as the “HR Nightmare”, which I think is hilarious. Work quote of the day: “That girl has an applebottom and she knows how to twirk it,” which was said in a very white-person tone and as if it was a simple everyday statement. That went into my lecture notes of course.
Lastly, and most importantly, today was amazing. Not just because it was my last day at “old work”, but because of my ice skating experience. I took a little girl of 8 named Lexi with me and I taught her how to skate. It was really hard, but not because it tested my patience or because I was actually teaching her wrong at first, but because it was like labor. It just took a lot of effort. Still, it was extremely satisfying. Every time she progressed I felt a sense of pride, not for me, but her. Every time she was scared to fall or actually did fall, I would encourage her with how well she was doing, and what she needed to do next time. I think my favorite moment was when she wouldn’t let go of my hand, with her impressive death grip, and I leaned in to look her in the eye and said, “I’m only here so you can learn to do it by yourself, you have to let go now.” Mind you, I wasn’t scolding her at all, but reassuring her that she had no reason to be afraid. Reader, I just can’t express to you the joy I felt picking her up off the ground and not seeing her cry, but a determined look that wanted to do better. She picked it up so quickly.
Yet, it wasn’t just because it was so much fun or because I had an awesome chance to bond with her that I enjoyed my time with Lexi. I had a great time because of what it taught me. On the drive home I contemplated all that had just happened. First, I realized that this would be my goal as a parent, “How do I get them to learn how to do it on their own, and what will they learn while I do so.” Lastly, and most significantly, I learned about discipleship. I see God making this call more clear in my life and I know I’m going to have to give up a lot of my own desires in order to  pursue Him the way He desires for me to. That fact scares the life out of me, but moments like I had today yearn to prove that it is worth every sacrifice made. Lexi’s lesson gave me a real life picture of discipleship.
When I picked her up, I began praying for a miracle. I don’t know a whole lot about kids, so it’s strange for God to call me to it. I feel awkward around them, but God did do a miracle. In this I learned that teaching does not come from my own abilities. Then when I tied her shoes, I realized I was preparing her for something she was probably scared of, and how necessary it was for her to feel comfortable. Tim was my perfect supply of encouragement. A 50 year old man with no clue what he was doing gave the girl more confidence that she would be okay. Just like in the church, “don’t let them despise your youth” because we’re all on the same page. As we stepped onto the ice I had the dark thought hit me, “I don’t even know if I know what I’m doing.” However, the more I taught her, the more my memory was refreshed. I gave her the pointers I remember my Dad teaching me, and tried to explain them in ways an 8 year old could comprehend. We talked about making V’s and then A’s with our feet and then about knowing how to tell if our feet were in the right spot. Just like in discipleship, although we may lack courage, God empowers us with all we need to do His work. The Holy Spirit can always speak through us in ways we didn’t think possible, reaching the heart of others like only He can. Finally, we hit a plateau. She wasn’t progressing and my advice wasn’t helping. In enters an ice queen (not in the derogatory sense) and we asked for her direction. As I sat back, her words contradict some of what I taught Lexi, as did Phil’s. This was humbling, because I wasn’t right and she was progressing as I saw her apply the different pointers. Sometimes I need help, and I won’t always be able to do it alone. One last thing. She sat down for a break, exhausted. So I decided to take the opportunity to finally see what all I could do. It was wonderful to feel like I didn’t need to wait on anyone and I could just skate. Still, I realized that it wasn’t about my desires anymore. I didn’t keep her waiting and when she felt ready we went back out and tried again. Although I may not like it, or I may feel held back at times, I love best when I lay my own desires down for the wellbeing of another.
Although I was there to teach Lexi, she taught me so much. I can’t wait to do what He’s calling me to. And I feel like this was the first step onto the ice. Praise Him from whom all blessings flow.

Chelsy.