Wheelie Wal-Mart Cart

Dear Reader,

Wednesday and yesterday were no bueno. I felt like I was struggling consistently with this same repetitive sin. Then all this realization of my filthy heart came over me. I began to long for those simple days when I first came to Jesus and things just made sense. I pray for Him to humble me - He does it. I don't read my bible or pray for a week - I realize why I'm in a slump, and change it. I missed sitting in a sun-filled bedroom, opening up the word, listening to Jon Foreman, and feeling alive.

It seems like the more you learn about the word the more those simple things stop impacting you, or at least they don't hit as hard. I remember the first time I realized that Jesus bridging the gap in my life to God was just like a battlefield. Pictures were always how I came to understanding of things, they still are.
Yesterday I stopped by Wal-mart for a few necessities. I realized as I was picking small things from the shelves that I was in desperate need of a cart. The cart I chose must have been the WORST cart in Wal-mart. The thing demanded that we go left at all times and required constant control. Every now and then I would have a fit of frustration and just ram the thing the to the right... but it was a cart, it's not like I was going to train it.
That's what my sin is like. This stubborn thing that demands I go whatever way seems good, but isn't where I need to go. I need isle 5, for some shampoo, but it demands we run into the innocent bystander checking out the Maybaline. Sometimes it seems like there's no controlling it as I run into corners, trying to turn.
Eventually I drop my rebellious cart and return to my vehicle. I noticed as I was steering out of the parking lot that I almost continued my tendency of controlling rebellion with this steering wheel. But my car wasn't turning left, it was going exactly where it was intended to.
This is like my dear Jesus. This New Covenant. My brand new life.

I don't feel the need to go into all the details of the revelation, but you can determine them for yourself.
Still, it reminded me of that child-like, early faith. I miss that simple heart that, although fell into danger and misbehavior often, wasn't swayed by storms of life and didn't need all the answers. He was just enough. Knowledge sometimes robs me of joy.

Chelsy.