Ramblings...

Dear Reader,
I usually don't post on Sundays, but I haven't really been posting at all and I wanted to give you an update.
This past week I went to the Future of Forestry concert. They are SUCH a talented band and used multiple instruments per musician, some of which I didn't even know existed. The lighting was probably the coolest part of the show, considering they're more ambiance oriented. Took lots of lovely photos on Instagram, so if you aren't following me please change that IPhone users.
Today I got a really great opportunity to meet up with a friend that I haven't talked to in awhile, which was great because she is one of my favorite people to talk to. We talked about relationships and how we've been growing and what we think about our futures and she got to meet my discipler, Lindsay Parsons. Still, what I enjoyed most was getting to talk about my struggles with dealing with my 'dad situation'. It was really comforting to me to get to talk to her about that and here's why:
 After the first few weeks since my dad died I feel like the world has just been consistently telling me to move on. "Get over with it quickly because there's too much to be done and there's no time for all that," seems to be naturally implied. There's graduation, and holidays, and college, and not enough room for considering what has just happened to me. It's going to change everything and truthfully I haven't fully acknowledged that yet. It really doesn't make any sense to me and sometimes I feel like no one has time to help me through it. It's like they all just see me as this "strong, young adult who's a Christian" so obviously there's nothing to worry about. I'm worried I'm not handling this right. Talking to my friend today was the first time I've mentioned anything specific that I've gone through with anyone in months. I don't truthfully know if that's right.
I truthfully feel like no one wants to talk to me for fear it will be weird. Sometimes it makes me feel very alone in this and gives me more permission not to deal with it.
So Reader, if this has been boring for you or too "dark", I'm not very sorry. I'm really worn out from this and I truthfully don't know what to do about it anymore. This is part of the reason for my "writers block".

Chelsy.