Dearest Reader,
Today I had my job interview at US Bank Home Mortgage :] and I'm 99.95% sure I got it! What disappointed me was that we didn't shake hands, as silly as that sounds... I was prepared to! Yet, she never went for it so I guess that's not her mantra.
May I just take a moment to give some due credit to the One who made all of this possible? Seriously, I cannot describe to you how little I deserve all that has happened to me. Firstly, there's the general, daily extension of grace: giving peace, life, breath, food, clothing, remembrance, etc. Then there's answered prayers and fulfilled desires. I've been wanting a job like this for awhile, and it couldn't have come at a better time. I've been needing a car for QUITE some time, and He gave me a brand-stinking new one that I DEFINITELY didn't deserve. He has been consistently delivering me from temptations that, if He had not intervened, I wouldn't even have faith right now, just pious religion and an empty heart.
Not only all this, but I constantly feel Him telling me its not over yet. Not the blessing mind you, but the call. I have an arc to be building, yet I'm constantly distracted. I didn't have quite time today and haven't for the past few days. I'm not consistent and I'm angry with myself for allowing it. I want this to change, and quickly.
He's been showing me that reverent fear is why I seek Him, overwhelming grace allows me to be gracious to other, and emotion and abundant love lead me to worship. I've had it all categorized under feeling. I want to feel His presence, or feel like serving, or feel like reading His words. Yet, He is a King! As well as a Father.
I don't know about you, Reader, but before my dad was depressed, his very presence demanded respect. You did not back-talk, you did as you were told, and you did it when you were told to do it. I very much righteously feared my father. Why should I not also stand in reverence to a Mighty and Just Being who in an instant could choose to no longer extend grace. After all, He is even the King over grace, it does not bind Him but is bound to Him alone.
May I tell you that whether I have $40 million or 2 cents I don't car. I've been thinking a lot about prosperity lately. I'll be making a significant amount of money soon, and honestly it neither frightens me nor excites me. I was thinking back to when I was 15 and couldn't drive. My dad took me everywhere. I depended on my mom to buy me clothes. I needed to wait until Christmas if I wanted something big. I saved up for a whole year and a half to buy my $400 camera. Then I look at myself now... I'm practically paying for all of my needs and I love it. But if I were to go back to the 15 year old lifestyle, so what? I survived then, I can now. If I were to lose all independence, would He still be good?
He is always God, He is always good.
He can take a father, my money, my future husband, and the T-Shirt on my back.
And it would still be true.
Have a good day,
Chelsy.
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